I love Wizards of the Coast’s Magic: the Gathering. I mean, I have multiple articles on it. I run Commander tournaments at my local game store. I have spent a lot of money building decks over the years.
With that being said, there are some cards out there that make me want to literally throw something. So here is my list of My Top 5: Terribad Cards in Magic.
#5: Razor Boomerang
You know, I have tried to like this card, I really have. I have actually defended this card before, but no more! I’ve heard the argument “well, with this card and this card, Razor Boomerang can actually be viable.”
So, by your logic, you have to jump through hoops to make this card usable? And just look at that minotaur’s face! Even he is upset that he is about to get slapped with that stupid thing!
Apparently this purple bunny decided to do some ‘roids and get swol. Too bad it didn’t do anything about its stupid face. And there’s no offense to the artist whatsoever with that statement; there is no artist on this planet that can make this creature look cool (there’s an artist reading this that is like “challenge accepted!”)
If I got killed by this thing, I would be very upset.
#3: Untaidake, the Cloud Keeper
Your immediate thought when looking at this card should be “okay, it came out of the Kamigawa block, I expect it to be garbage.” Well, you’re right!
If you are a person that want to have a slow land that in addition to being limited to legendary spells only that it dings you for two when you tap it, then this is the land for you!
Oh! The gods be praised! A card that is so conditional that it’s nearly unusable. And I say nearly because I know there is someone out there that has actually got this card to work one time in its existence. Imagine being that person:
Person A: “Oh, you’re not spending any mana to cast that spell? I counter it with Nix!”
Person B: “Bamboozled again!”
#1: Sorrow’s Path
So you thought Untaidake was bad? Well, I introduce you to a card that is so stupid that it punishes you for playing it! If you wanted to psuedo-wipe your board and shock yourself for a very situational ability, then you need to throw 4 of these babies in a deck and kill yourself with them.
It doesn’t even tap for mana! I am very surprised that this stupid thing doesn’t come into play tapped.
Honorable Mention: Dubious Challenge
This card should be called: Get up, throw it in the trash and go home.
If you want a card that is bad beyond words, then here it is! I honestly want to hear the rational behind this card when it was being designed.
Creative Director: “I want a card to literally make someone throw up.”
Designer: “Say no more, fam!”