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One of the first times that I played in an FNM event was during New Phyrexia, the last set in the Scars of Mirrodin block. The deck to beat was Caw-Blade, an Esper, or sometimes just Azorius deck with creatures, equipment, planeswalkers, and the mother of all creatures, Emrakul, the Aeons Torn. An Eldrazi, or an alien from the far reaches of existence known as “The Blind Eternities,” is a powerful being of hunger and destruction. The Eldrazi were defeated, but returned a short while ago with Battle for Zendikar, and was again the deck to beat for a couple months. Since then, Eldrazi has fallen off of the radar, however, I feel that even though we have mere months until they are rotated out, the Eldrazi are still a voracious threat from another world. This is an aggressive midrange deck-tech, something a bit out of my comfort zone as one of our shop’s resident prison/control players, aggro is not something I play often. However, I do play against a ton of it, and I know what I can’t beat, and that is what we’re going to look at today. A wonky mana base, tentacled horrors, and a fast victory are sure to follow, this is Wasted Aggro.

Thought Knot Reality Smasher Drowner of Hope.jpg

There are no massive titans in this build, only early payoff. What we want to be doing in this deck is jamming out threats like these. Thought-Knot Seer is a four mana four power and toughness with a five-star ability upon entrance to the battlefield. You look at your opponent’s hand and exile a card from it, then when the Seer dies they get to draw a card. This can and will make the game for you, often times taking the bomb right out of their hands forever. Moving right up the curve is Reality Smasher, a five converted mana cost five power and toughness with haste and trample, and cannot be the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls unless they discard a card when they do it. For lack of a more fitting term, this creature is an absolute beast in this strategy. Not much can contest this behemoth in combat, and your opponent will have to two-for-one themselves when trying to take it down, which is fine by me. Last on the curve is Drowner of hope, an absolute powerhouse of a top-end on the curve. Drowner upon ETB creates two scions that can each individually be sacrificed to tap an opposing creature. This may not seem that impactful, but I can assure you that no matter how good of a creature you have, it isn’t worth its weight in cardstock when it’s tapped.

Eldrazi Mimic Matter reshaper Bearer of Silence.jpg

Lower on the curve are our “value” creatures. By this, I mean that they may not always have what it takes to stomp through the opposition like their big brothers, but they accrue value throughout the game. Eldrazi Mimic is a tiny little two/one that can be granted the same power and toughness of a colorless creature when said creature enters the battlefield. In other words, the Mimic can become as huge as a Reality Smasher or Drowner of Hope without any real work being put into it. Matter Reshaper has a unique upon death trigger that causes you to reveal the top card of your library, then if it is a permanent with CMC three or less it goes on the field. Otherwise, it goes to your hand. Card advantage, and sometimes cheating a little beater into play. Bearer of Silence is removal on a stick. A two mana two power and two toughness flyer that upon casting you may pay one of anything and a colorless mana, which causes target opponent to sacrifice a creature. The downside of this guy is that he can’t block, but he provides an early threat to your opponent’s life total and has decent enough evasion. He is not, however, a two drop. He is garbage for two mana, and should really be played as a four drop to get the ability off.

Fathom Feeder Eldrazi Displacer Voldaren Pariah.jpg

These are the tricky part to the deck. Each of these creatures have specific abilities that either make combat difficult, remove creatures, or accrue a ridiculous amount of value. Fathom Feeder is a beast at blocking, and rarely will be traded unfavorably in this meta. Sure, removal is king, but we’re playing nothing but creatures and lands in this deck, so we really don’t care if our stuff dies. A two mana one/one with death touch, ingest, and the ability to draw cards is good enough for me, Eldrazi Displacer is an all-star in this deck. Combining with many of our creatures, it can also blink our opponent’s creatures during combat to put the screws to whatever strategy they are running. An all-around amazing card. Finally, the only creature in the main deck that isn’t a tentacled alien from the blind eternities: Voldaren Pariah. This card has a fitting name due to how underplayed it is considering it’s power level. Sacrificing three creatures is a measly task to have your opponent have to sacrifice three creatures after you get a six power flyer.

Main Deck
Eldrazi Mimic X4
Matter Reshaper X4
Thought-Knot Seer X4
Reality Smasher X4
Bearer of Silence X4
Eldrazi Displacer X4
Drowner of Hope X4
Fathom Feeder X4
Voldaren Pariah X3

AEther Hub X4
Corrupted Crossroads X4
Sea Gate Wreckage X3
Ruins of Oran-Rief X2
Prairie Stream X2
Port Town X2
Sunken Hollow X3
Choked Estuary X3
Swamp X1
Wastes X1

Side Board
Spell Queller X4
Endbringer X3
Aven Mindcensor X1
Nimble Obstructionist X1
AEthersphere Harvester X3
Heart of Kiran X3

Wasted Aggro is an aggressive Midrange deck that curves out on some of the most powerful Eldrazi that the multiverse has ever seen. This is the kind of deck that you want to play if you have had a bad day at work and want to beat your head against a wall for a couple minutes, except the wall, in this case, is your opponent’s life total. The Eldrazi core of this deck has proven its mettle in Legacy and even the likes of Vintage! If you’re a fan of nothing but creatures and lands, then this deck is for you. Crush your opponents until all is dust with the best in Eldrazi goodness: Wasted Aggro.

Parker “Constructed Pork” McDonald
Twitter: @constructedpork

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